Time and time again, we hear of men who are married but still go around flirting with other women.
There could be various reasons why these men throw caution to the wind and entertain flirting with women that they are not married to.
Some of these reasons are:
- To confirm if he’s still attractive
- To feel wanted
- To garner attention
- To seek affirmation for his person
- For fun
- To explore new women
- To fulfill a purpose
The list goes on and on.
We will be exploring these reasons in depth, but it is good to establish that one of the common notions for reasons why married men flirt with other women is to find some form of attention, affirmation, or confirmation of his person, which he doesn’t have in marriage.
These reasons, no matter how numerous they are, do not justify flirting for them to be dealt with.
Yet, because of the thrill and ease that comes with the activity, married men engage in it to pacify those needs in their hearts, minds, and souls.
So what are the reasons?
Why do men flirt with other women regardless of their vows?
10 Subtle Reasons Why Married Men Flirt With Other Women
1. He flirts to confirm if he’s still attractive:
While the physical appearance and beauty of a man may have no effect on his love for his partner, there still lies a need in every man to be seen as attractive by other women.
Flirting with other women provides an assurance of his attractiveness even after marriage.
This way, he feels more confident about himself and can apply this feeling to his relationship as well.
Men who do this do it because their self-worth or self-esteem has been trained to depend on the attention they get from women.
And when this is the sole reason a man is flirting with other women, you can be sure that there is a deficit of attention from his wife at home.
That deficit drives him to fill it by flirting with other women who can give him attention and tell him how attractive he is.
As long as he doesn’t get the confirmation from home, he will easily get it outside by flirting.
2. To feel wanted:
There is a certain satisfaction a man can get from being wanted by another woman.
A married man who flirts to feel wanted could either not feel wanted at home or could feel wanted at home but is not satisfied with that and decides to get more outside.
This feeling of being wanted can make a man feel like he’s still desired and attractive after all.
And because of this, some unflattering men will keep flirting with other women in the hopes of getting that confirmation from them.
That little attention they get boosts their confidence and makes them feel better about themselves.
The feeling of being wanted by another woman boosts his confidence and also assures him of his worth again.
3. A latent habit:
Some men flirt because they cannot help it, and truthfully, marriage cannot make a habitual flirt change all of a sudden unless the man is willing.
It’s almost as if these men are addicted to the thrill of the chase.
They may even go as far as getting emotionally attached to someone else, which can have a devastating effect on their marriages and relationships in general.
They feel like they’re missing something from their lives that their spouse or partner can’t give them, and so they turn to another woman to fill that void.
It’s a habit they might not even be aware of, and it’s up to them to recognize it and take the steps necessary to break this habit if their marriage is important to them.
It’s very possible this man is known for flirting around, and he keeps up that behavior even in marriage.
Most times, such men do it mindlessly, with no intention or reason behind just that it is a learned behavior.
4. To feel manly:
A lot of men believe flirting with the opposite sex gives them a fresh boost of testosterone.
This notion, even though it seems true, is really just a conditioning.
They think when a woman shows them attention, it reaffirms their masculinity.
This need for affirmation is the result of a lack of self-esteem and low confidence.
So, they fill this void with attention from other women, which eventually destroys their marriage.
Seeking validation from outside sources is never the solution; it only masks the problem instead of fixing it.
5. To garner attention:
The reason why this is different from being wanted is because of how superficial it is.
A married man could want attention through flirting with other women for various reasons.
Some of these reasons include being respected by other men, making his wife possessive of him, boosting his male ego, satisfying that feeling of being wanted, and even just because he likes attention.
He could be getting all the attention from his wife at home, but throws the morality code out of the window and engages in flirting games just to get more attention from other women.
This kind of behavior can become an addiction, and it can be just as damaging to the marriage as cheating is.
It erodes the trust in a relationship and eventually destroys their marriage.
Seeking attention from outside sources is never the solution; it only masks the problem instead of fixing it.
6. For fun:
There’s a certain thrill men have chasing the other gender. It’s like a little game, a game that, once married, is seldom played.
When a man begins to feel routine in his marriage, he can fall into that temptation of flirting just because he wants a bit of excitement in his day-to-day life.
And even though he doesn’t want anything serious, he has started a game that can end painfully, which is flirting with other women in this case.
It’s a game that has no winners and can cause a lot of hurt to all those involved.
The best thing for the married man is to focus on his wife, take time away from the stress of life, and reconnect with her to re-establish the trust in their relationship.
7. To explore new women:
This is closely related to flirting for fun.
It is also quite common with men who engage in sexual affairs outside of marriage.
They need to relate to exotic or foreign women because it excites them.
The idea of engaging in something new alone drives them to flirt with other women.
This also stems from seeing the wife as an “old flame” and looking for a new fire to burn their loins a bit.
8. To fulfill a purpose:
This is common with businessmen or in office settings.
Men flirting with women in positions higher than them.
They do so to make these women feel comfortable with them or to make these women open to them so they can identify their weaknesses.
A lot of married men who fall into this category can usually be manipulative because they will keep flirting with women until they get what they want.
They are not necessarily looking for physical or emotional connections, but rather, they are looking to gain more power and status.
This is a dangerous game because the consequences can be severe if found out.
9. To make their wife upset:
There are cases, although rare, when men openly flirt with other women to make their wives jealous.
They would do this whenever an argument happened at home or whenever their wives wanted to deprive them of love and care.
They do this in hopes the woman will be threatened to come back to them.
It is also very possible that they flirt to take revenge on the wife for something she probably did to them in the past.
They hold onto the hurt and allow it to fuel that flirting behavior so they can equally hurt their wives as she hurt them.
This is a form of emotional manipulation that can lead to bitterness and resentment in a marriage.
While it may be effective temporarily, it’s not a healthy practice long-term.
The husband will often feel guilty afterward for his actions, and the wife will feel betrayed, which could ruin their relationship and trust within the marriage.
10. To form a sexual relationship:
Most married men flirt for sexual gratification.
It is quite normal to see a man woo a woman solely for sleeping with her.
Even married men are guilty of this.
A married man looking to cheat on his wife will flirt just because they can satisfy themselves.
They are probably doing this because they are starved sexually at home by their wives.
Another reason a married man will be flirty for sexual purposes is because, even though they are sexually active at home with their wives, they are not content with that and want more.
Self-control takes a backseat in their minds, and they forget their vows.
Conclusion:
Flirting, no matter how innocent it may seem, is crossing the line, especially in a marital relationship.
Whatever motive behind it must be discussed extensively between the couple and resolved or dealt with.
Boundaries must be drawn to prevent feelings from getting hurt.
Married men should understand or always have their wives in mind when communicating with other women.
To serve as a reminder and restrain one’s desires from flirting or crossing a boundary.