There’s this saying, ‘You don’t know what you have when you lose it.’
But some guys knew what they had, but it never occurred to them that they would lose it.
Because of this mindset, comfort sets in, and soon, they begin to take advantage of or neglect the one providing the comfort.
These guys become lackadaisical and fail to contribute to the health of their relationships.
What happens after is when the invested party pulls away, they start to exhibit care.
If this has happened to you a couple of times, you may be asking: why do guys start caring when you stop caring?
In this article, I’ve provided some interesting answers that will either trigger you or get you thinking.
Whatever the case, keep scrolling.
6 Reasons Guys Start Caring When You Stop Caring
1. They cared but were oblivious to what you wanted
Chances are they genuinely cared about you but didn’t know how you wanted them to treat you.
This could be due to the differences in how men and women communicate and how men and women interpret messages.
Check this scenario: In a counseling room, Susan complains that her husband, Bob, does not spend time with her.
She states that she wants Bob to watch TV with her.
The counselor repeats this to Bob, who nods his head to show he understands.
A week later, when the counselor asked Susan about her relationship with Bob, she said there was no improvement.
When the counselor probed, Susan said Bob sat with her to watch TV, but he was at the far end of the couch.
She wanted him to cuddle her, rub her back, and converse with her as they watched TV.
In short, she wanted affection.
I know I’ve probably struck a nerve or two with this illustration.
But I want you to understand that men are sometimes dumb.
You need to be clear and specific in your communication.
So if the question of why do guys start caring when you stop caring keeps popping up, remember that guys are literal beings.
2. They miss your validation even when they’re not willing to change
Some guys start showing care when they miss your validation.
When you withdraw your attention, they react.
Of course, this reaction is an unhealthy one.
It reveals their deep selfishness to have their needs fulfilled.
They may react by initiating what you want to get your attention again.
When you give it, they pull back.
This manipulative tactic can spiral into an exhausting pattern for you.
If you’ve withdrawn, and he starts caring only to pull back when you become attentive again, it’s high time you ended that relationship.
3. They feel guilty
If he’s a good guy and he knows that he’s not been the partner you deserve, he will feel guilty.
If he knows how disappointed you feel about him, he will raise the bar to make it up to you.
The problem with this is that his motivation stems from guilt.
Guilt, however, is an unreliable emotion.
Once it leaves, he’ll resort to his old ways.
If you’re in this situation, an open conversation might help.
Note that he may not properly articulate his reasons the first time.
Still, give him the benefit of the doubt.
If he repeats his past behavior, feel free to end the relationship.
4. They are manipulative
Another low reason guys care about you when you withdraw your affection is because they want to manipulate you.
You know the manipulator by his words.
He never does anything to enhance the relationship; instead, he wields his words like a weapon.
Guys like this toy with your emotions by guilt-tripping you into caring for them again.
Another strategy they use is to focus on one area of the relationship to shut you up.
By honing on one area, they capitalize on it to give you a reason to continue the relationship.
They are not concerned about dealing with issues holistically.
It is more about keeping you under control.
5. They miss the benefits you give
Many guys start caring when you stop because they miss the goodies you brought into the relationship.
If you, for example, warmed his bed, cooked for him, financed his projects, or offered other kinds of benefits, he wouldn’t want to lose them.
So, he’ll start doing what you like, so your benevolence will continue.
It’s easy to think he realized your worth after you left, but he simply wanted a quick fix.
Such guys are not invested in the relationship’s health but in the actions they can take to gain those benefits.
Genuine guys are more open to discussions and resolutions of their relationship issues.
They want to hear you out and won’t easily dismiss you.
If they are not getting the benefits immediately, they keep doing their part because they understand building a good relationship takes time.
So if a guy starts showing you care after you’ve pulled out, observe him.
If he pressures you, he’s sure there for what he’ll gain from you.
6. They fear losing you.
Another answer to your ‘why do guys start caring when you stop caring’ question is that they don’t want to lose you.
When guys face the reality of losing someone who shows them love and care, they must step up.
Do note this: this happens when they are faced with the REALITY you’re leaving.
This means they believe you.
Women have this penchant for saying things they don’t mean.
For example, you may tell a guy you won’t pick up his call if he does something, but when he does it and calls, you pick up.
Guys will not take you seriously when you repeatedly compromise yourself across different scenarios.
So for them to fear losing you, you must have taken some steps to prove it.
Note that those steps must be different from what you’ve done before.
CONCLUSION
Generally, women are relationship-oriented.
We love romance even if we’re not getting it.
For you as a lady to pull out, chances are you have emotionally checked out of the relationship.
However, asking why do guys start caring when you stop caring shows your willingness to understand their motives.
Consider this: When he steps up after you’ve pulled away, do you want a man who must be threatened before treating you like you deserve?
Don’t you want a man who loves you with words and deeds without the threat of losing you?
Anyway, it’s up to you whether to give him a second chance or not.
It’s important to know that it takes a lot of effort and commitment to make a relationship work, so be sure you both are willing and able to put in the work.